Wednesday, January 27, 2016


I find myself making deals.
Making deals with the Unseen.
If you give me this, then
and only then will I give you that.

It makes almost anyone
a faux believer
How long does the faith linger?
Only time will tell.

The stakes are sky high.
Stacked high are my bargaining chips.
Slippery fingers shaking.
Might leave me in debt.


Thursday, October 8, 2015


Been a while.
Things are a little different these days. Flashback: on a cold December evening of 2014, two baby girls arrived kicking and screaming their tiny lungs, forever altering my existence. We named them Raaga (Baby A) and Swara (Baby B). I am now a mother of twin baby girls! The word 'mother' still blows my mind sometimes. Now, I am not going to bore anyone by saying that motherhood is the best thing that happened to me. Hell No! I think it's the toughest job that I got assigned in my 29 years on this earth.
The littles are 9 months now! Crawling! I have no idea when the tinies outgrew bundles of clothes, outgrew their infant car seats. Started addressing everything and anything as 'mammaa' or 'dadaa' :|
So many things happened while I was away from blogging that I cannot even start to write them out in bullet points.
Writing. It feels a little foreign now. My words feel scratchy to me. I'll have to come back to it. It's one of my happy places. The first few months after my littles were born..we were in pure survival mode. Almost no sleep. Writing or reading was nowhere in my mind. Now, *knock on wood* things are more at an equilibrium..ish mode. I have found time to get back to my reading. So I am guessing I will come back to writing at my own pace.
I cannot believe that the girls are going to be 1 within couple of months. Right now it's more fun with the girls when compared to few months back. This is as cliched as cliche can get, even though they are twins, they are so so different. :|

Raaga, my first born (elder by 3 minutes) : the quietish, independent one. Her smiles are not that quick but it can melt your heart. The curious and laid back one. My petite one. Already loves books! *beaming*
L: Swara R: Raaga

Swara, my second born: the loud, spotlight lover, quick to smile and laugh. The charmer. My wildchild. The curious and the one always in a hurry.

I knew I was not going to be a chill mom. I tried but that's just not me. I am the neurotic one. The one who worry and speculate and worry some more.
It took me 9 months to come to terms that my girls are now a part of my life and it is okay to make mistakes. It is okay that I am not the calm mom. It is okay if the girls both throw tantrums..we three will get over it. 
It is all okay.
I am at peace in midst of all the chaos.:)

Should I or should I not have a photo dump here? ;)

R:Raaga L: Swara

Be warned.. future posts may or may not have a lot of baby spam. So yea. :)
I'm more 'active' on Instagram (@anisha.7) solely for convenience reasons.

P.S: Mirage, I love you. You know why!


Friday, October 17, 2014

Just because..

I am a peace loving person
doesn't mean that I am at peace.


Wednesday, August 20, 2014

We need some confetti over here!

The story so far..

My life has changed on many levels since the last time I was here. Somehow, I feel that I have not fully come to terms with it either.
This is a long overdue post. I kept thinking of this post for so long that I lost track of how to get to it. Since I love making lists, that's exactly what I am going to do. List it all out. Bear with me.

1. Few months back I upgraded my reading challenge from 36 books to 50, almost smug. The scene right now..I'm in a reading slump. WEEKS..not days has gone by, without me picking up a book to read. I am going to blame it on how much I eye-rolled while reading Divergent..making me dread reading Insurgent. I am half way through book 2 and I know for a fact that I am in hell and I am still subjecting myself to the trauma. I know, I know the series is world loved. Not my cup of tea though. I am hoping it will get better, although I highly doubt it. The weirdest thing is..I'm not really stressing about it.

2. It's been almost 2 months since I wrote something. Before, even if I don't blog, I make it a point to scribble random atrocities in my scribble book. Nowadays.. not so much. My mind keeps flitting from one thing to another. Restless. Truth be told..even though I missed being here. I'm happy that I took the hiatus.

3. I'm tired all the time. But I don't mind it much. Fatigue is my new soul mate.

4. Something as simple as breathing comes and goes in huffs and puffs now. Strangely, it seems welcome now.

5. Knitting has taken up almost all my free time. I have garnered up courage to pick up crochet projects too.

6. Eating healthy has got to be one of the most boring things I have done lately. It is almost stressful. Bring me my deluxe cheeseburger and extra serving of fries! :(

7. I have gained around 8 pounds and I don't remember being this happy about it.

8. Oh and I burp like a truck driver. TMI, I know. Deal with it. :D

9. TheBetterHalf and I celebrate our 4th anniversary this month end. 4 years of drama and wonderfulness. Knock on wood, I love that man!

10. Oh btw..I'm expecting. I just wrapped up my first trimester few weeks back. ( ie, if you hadn't guessed that by now. :P  For the rest who had no clue where this whole post was leading to..see how I sneaked that right past you :D )

11. Did I tell you.. IT'S TWINS ?!!!!!

12. They are going to be winter babies. Even though the doctor said the due date is late January, he also mentioned since it is twins we can expect them almost around 4 weeks before the due date. So late december, early January it is. #notfreakingoutatall. Winter Is Coming has taken a whole new meaning in our household. Good Lord, I am having twins!!

Yeap. Expecting. Twins. Enjoying the honeymoon period aka second trimester. Though lemme assure you everything was not a cake walk.

August 30, 2014 marks the 4th year since TheBetterHalf and I have been together. Ours was an arranged marriage; traditional in all sense. We both come from very different backgrounds and there was a lot of getting used to. There are so many aspects to each of us. Our dreams, aspirations, weaknesses: all different. As a matter of fact, we are poles apart and I thank my lucky stars for it. He is more of the feet firmly rooted on the ground steady kind of person while I am like a leaf  floating around on a lake with no aim whatsoever! But I digress. We both wanted to have some years together as just a couple. We wanted to figure so many things before even thinking of bringing a child into the relationship.
We were newly married. For me, life was close to perfect. Yes there were fights, which we fought ardently. Yet, we had just each other at the end of the day since both families were on the other side of the globe! Even though queries of 'good news' was almost incessant even in the first year of marital bliss, we would brush it away with the 'newly married' excuse.
In the second year of marriage when 'should we think of starting a family' was not such a scary threw its first curve ball for us. I was diagnosed with PCOS. We had heard of a lot of couples successfully conceiving while dealing with PCOS. We were young and we were optimistic. However, nature had other plans for me. Trying to conceive with PCOS in the picture, was like a hard kick in the crotch in my case.
I am not going go into detail because frankly it still hurts. Long story short, after what seems like a gazillion appointments with the gynecologist, endocrinologist, medications, blood tests, hormone shots, a miscarriage, many negative test results, many heartbreaks, tears and borderline depression..imagine my disbelief when the nurse calls me and actually tells me that the pregnancy test result came out positive!
We go for our first scan and the surprise doesn't end there. When the doctor asks us "So how do you feel about twins? "

It was happy gasps.. ugly happy crying and hugging. The next day was TheBetterHalf's birthday! #BestBirthdayNewsEver, he said. I love love love that man to bits. I didn't warn you that the post could get cheesy, did I? Aah too late for that now. :D

When the kiddos were teeny tiny 7 weeks!
They said the first trimester, I would be puking away. I would feel light headed and nauseous. To all that I said, Bring it on! Apparently my body got a different memo. My morning sickness included Pregnancy Hives! Now what in the world is that?! Nobody warned me about me that. So much heartburn that I would be awake all night. I have a significant bump now and only recently have I accepted it as my bump. My explanation being: cravings for carbs and anything unhealthy! The kiddos are the size of two bell peppers now. Aah how I love baby apps! I still find it hard to believe and I have this urge to blurt out at random hours that I am pregnant. I don't fight that urge. I actually say that out loud. :D I'm hormonal, scared, emotional, deliriously happy, and a moron now. So be nice to me and rejoice! :D

Till  the next time, I am going to leave you with the picture of my bump at 16 weeks. Now where is the confetti ? :D

Yea I made those. I am cool that way 8)

Saturday, June 28, 2014

We are all onions here

One look at a person and you barely see anything. Sure, you see the person's physical appearance. But you are missing out on so much! You don't see the layers, the plots, the subplots. You don't realize there might be unreliable narrators narrating the story of his life. A light to someone's life and yet a tyrant to some! The characters keep changing their course of action landing them in more trouble than needed. One moment the protagonist, can soon change to a mere extra, looking helplessly into another scene. He might not always be able to save the day like a superhero.There is no script. It's all an improv out there. Happy endings might not always happen. Heart breaks may not be mended. Yet, there might be days when he feels like he is the king of the world. Listen closely and you might even hear the soundtrack of his life! But who has the time to pause and look into another person's life. His victories and tribulations: all his own.
So many sublayers to one's life. You don't see any of that standing 5 feet away from the guy. All you see is a guy with a forgettable face delivering your pizza on a Thursday night. All he sees is a miserable and lonely you, too lazy to cook and who paid him a tip way too less for the effort he put in.

Layers: Nobody sees them.You are lost in them, alone.

Friday, June 6, 2014


All these hellos, the goodbyes.
The please's, the thankyou's.
The polite smiles, the nods.
Most of them, most of the time
don't care.
Yet, they do it anyway.
Far from the feral age.
Civilization, they call it.
Sometimes darling,
it drives
the sanity right out of me.
The heart yearns divine solitude.

P.S - I have been a lousy blogger, I know. I have missed writing and reading the other blogs. The hiatus was not planned. You know how life is this sneaky person throwing curveballs at us all the time. So every now and then it turns out to be a really good thing? I know I am being cryptic and doing a bad job at it.What I am trying to say is, I think I am going to be more active henceforth. I have loads to talk so keep your ears to the ground! :)

Thursday, April 17, 2014


Routine is therapeutic,
when you are at peace folding your laundry.
When a smile plays at the corners of your lips,
as a random conversation replays in your head.
And you smell the clean scent of freshly washed linen.

Routine becomes a curse,
when one look at your overflowing laundry basket
makes you contemplate all your life's choices.
You think, is it time already?
You  just washed a truckload of clothes.

The cycle continues.